Pottermon
by cuddly carrots
Summary: Luna concocts a potion which does strange things to our heroes. Will they be able to see past their differences and work together to make things right once again? Tune in! By the way, this tale is meant to be slapstick stupidity.AU,Not Slash.Parody-ish
1. Episode 1: Pilot

My first fanfic! Be nice!

My FIRST disclaimer!!! Should I be proud?

Huh...Oh well!

I do not own Harry Potter-though I would like a hippogriff-nor do I own any Pokemon-except on my gameboy/nintendo ds! I hope that's it...Think so!

Woot! I hope you like it, if you do then review! If you don't, review anyways and lie! Jk! (heh, I love puns) No flames, please! It will hurt my feelings...(o^ - ^o) PS: It's supposed to be stupid beyond reason. The point is that it's pointless. Yes, I do realize the title is crappy. I apologize.

* * *

The tale begins...

It all began one night in the Ravenclaw dormitory. Luna was trying out her father's latest hair-brained and dangerous scheme. She was making a potion of some sort which required the essences of a few people. As she was making this concoction, suddenly an explosion went off.

"Drat!" Luna cried, "Now I'll never be able to call a wild Crumple Horned Snorkack! Drat!" She yelled in a dramatic fashion.

Meanwhile in the Gryffindor commons, a few minutes before…

_Jeez Ferret Face, y r u such a jerk 2 me?_ Harry texted his blonde-bombshell rival, Draco Malfoy.

_Cuz I'm better looking, smarter, better looking, more superior, and infinitely times better looking than u cud ever hope 2 b in every way. Did I mention better looking?_ Harry gritted his teeth at Malfoy's response. And madly began texting his retort. It was such a powerful and witty comeback that he spent about three minutes thinking it up.

_No way Ferret Face! I'm the prodigal jeanyus!_

Let's take a moment and pause, or else our minds may implode at the awe created by the power of such a come back.

Harry felt his phone buzz and looked at Malfoy's reply. _u misspelled genius. do u even kno what a prodigal is?_

_Of course I kno what a prodigal is! _

_R u sure? _

_Yeah! A prodigal is someone born really smart!_

_Not really. Have u ever heard of "The Prodigal Son?"_

_Draco, don't tell me that there's another prophesy! I'm tired of prophesies about me!_

_Idiot. Nvrmnd. Ur idiocy amazes me. I don't kno whether I shud call u Pothead or Potty head._

_I don't understand?_

_Well, yur as smart as a hobo strung out on pot, but u also have dung for brains…hmmm...decisions, decisions…_

_Jeez…Fako, yur such a jerk!_

_And u r the world champ at coming up with derogatory nicknames._

_Really?_

_No. Do u even kno what sarcasm is?_

_Yeh! Maybe…sort of…no. But at least I have a brain!_

_Maybe u do kno sarcasm…_

_I don't get it._

_Don't worry. I cant expect u to understand all of my wit._

_? (0~0) confused._

_I'll tell u when yur older._

_Tell me now!_

_No._

_Yes!_

_No._

_No!_

_So Pothead Potter, we hav reached an agreement?_

_No fair!_

_That's what u get 4 watching too much Bugs Bunny, only he can pull that one off._

'Darn you Malfoy!' Harry thought, 'You have foiled me again!' Harry then ran into his portable corner of misery and despair.

_Potter, r u in ur corner of misery and despair again?_

…_.._

_Answer me! R u in ur corner of misery and despair?  
_

…_..no…._

_R u lying?_

……

_Pothead! Answer me! U r so rude.  
_

…_.no…im not lying....  
_

Suddenly, a loud crash resounded throughout Hogwarts. It sounded like an explosion (no duh!). Harry jumped as if a large Blast-ended Skrewt had magically appeared on his head.

"What the-" Harry didn't finish because he suddenly blacked out.

The Next Day….

Harry groggily opened his eyes and looked around. Where was he?

Harry snickered and said something he had always wanted to say-yes, Harry has the strangest goals in life. "Well Draco, we're not in Hogwarts anymore." He said towards the air of arrogant superiority he had felt in the air. He giggled and began to turn towards Draco and gasped at what he saw.

Draco no longer looked like the Malfoy he had come to know and not love. Draco had taken the form of some sort of animal. He looked like a cross between a ferret, a raccoon, and a mongoose. "Draco! Is that you?" Harry was to shocked at Draco's transformation to realize the change in his own voice.

Draco woke up rather grumpily to Harry's screechings. He tried to fall asleep again, when he saw instead of his skin, he saw a flash of…fur?

Harry instantly regretted waking Draco as his scream nearly broke the sound barrier. Suddenly, Harry felt a tingling in his skin and everything went not white, but yellow. Draco's screams suddenly split from one unending note into staccato jabs, rather similar to a broken record, or a person being electrocuted. Harry pondered this and suddenly realized the yellow was gone, and Draco had a charred and crispy look to him. Harry cocked his head like a puppy and Draco stared as if he was in pain. 'How odd,' Harry thought to himself.

"Erm…are you okay?" Harry asked and poked the twitching Draco with a stick.

"Oh yes, I'm just spiffy. Being electrocuted by a walking electrical plug was simply the best moment of my entire life. WHAT DO YOU THINK, POTHEAD!!!" Draco screamed and Harry accidentally shocked Draco again.

"WILL YOU STOP THAT! IDIOT!" Draco rebroke the sound barrier.

"Ah! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm-" Draco cut Harry off.

"Quit it! Shut up! We need to figure out what the Blast-ended Skrewt is going on here! And if you apologize to me one more time, then Mr. Snuggles will get it!"

"No! Not Mr. Snuggles!" Harry whined as he worried about his plush lion that Professor Snape gave him secretly.

"Then shut up! First off, we need to find out if anyone else is here." Draco suggested intelligently.

"Yes! Let's do it! I'm sick of being the paranoid hero that nobody listens to except when I'm wrong!" Harry grinned.

'Oh brother,' Malfoy thought, 'Why do I always get stuck with the idiots?'

"Well, let's go look around." Draco said and the two unlikely friends-

(Malfoy disrupts the story)

Malfoy: Hey, how come Pothead and I are friends?

Me: Because I am the author, and you must do as I say.

Harry: But aren't you technically typing?

Me: Yes, but it's a figure of speech.

Harry: I don't get it.

Me: I know.

Malfoy: Is Harry really that stupid?

Me: Yes. Now let's get back to the story.

Malfoy: Oh yeah! Sorry.

Me: I forgive you.

(back to the story)

"Well, let's look around." Draco said and the two unlikely comrades walked-or in Draco's case, scurried-off to explore the new land that they have found themselves in. What new adventures await our heroes next time we see them? Stick around for the next installment and we'll see!

Theme song:

They're gonna be the very best

Of friends there ever was.

Comradery is their real test,

To go home is their cause!

They will travel across the land,

Searching far and wide.

Each moment on to understand

The thoughts that rule their minds!

Harry Potter!

He's a big moron (and stupid too)

Will he ruin ev'rything?

Draco Malfoy!

Oh, he'll soon befreind

In a world they must defend!

Pokemon!

They'll teach us all (friends so true)

Their friendship'll pull them through!

They'll be mean and they'll be rude

Through it all!

Gotta read it all!

Gotta read it all!

Every second along the way

While bickering they will waste

They will quarrel everyday

And diss their mother's face

Soon they'll see with newfound sight,

There's no more a need,

Arm in arm, they still will fight

The rest you'll have to read!

Harry Potter!

He's a moron (and stupid too)

Will he ruin ev'rything?

Draco Malfoy!

Oh, he'll soon befreind

In a world they must defend!

Pokemon!

They'll teach us all (friends so true)

Their friendship'll pull them through!

They'll be mean and they'll be rude

Through it all!

Gotta read it all! Gotta read it all!

Adios!

Let us now begin a discussion between the author (that's me!), Harry, and Draco about the pilot episode. May the confusion commence!

Harry: Why do I sound so stupid?

Me: Because you are.

Harry: Oh….

Me: 3, 2, 1-

Harry: Hey! Wait a minu-

Draco: Shut it, Pothead! It's my turn now!

Harry: Draco, why are you always so mean to me? It hurts my feelings!

Draco: Oh really Pothead? I'm sorry. I had no idea. I'm really sorry.

Harry: Really?

Draco: Of course……………………….Not!

Harry: Waaaaaah! Patricia! Draco's picking on me again!

Draco: Oh yeah, well the Boy Who Cried over here is annoying me! Tell him to stop being such a stupid idiot!

Me: Draco, be nice! Harry can't help it if he was born a stupid idiot.

Harry: Hey!

Me: What? It's true.

Harry: You're right. *goes into corner of misery and despair*

Draco: Now look at what you've made him do now!

Me: You started it!

Draco: Did not!

Me: Did so!

Draco: Did not!

Me: Did so!

Draco: Did not!

Me: Did not!

Draco: Did so!

Me: HAH! *sticks tongue out*

Draco: No fair! You cheated!

Me: Hey! I don't see you typing the story here! My rules=only rules.

Draco: That makes no mathematical sense.

Me: So what?

Harry: Hello! The Boy Who Lived is over here too you know!

Draco and I together: Shut up, Pothead!

Harry: You guys are mean!

Draco: Go jump off a bridge.

Harry: Make me! No! I didn't mean it! Stop! Ow!

Me: Maybe Voldemort had the right idea…

Draco: Told you so!

3 minutes later…

Me: Okay, now that we've tied Harry up and thrown him in a closet, what did you want to ask, Draco?

Draco: What is up with the theme song? You make us sound gay.

Me: Well, if the Italian leather shoes fit…

Draco: No! I absolutely refuse! Heck to the no freakin' way!

Me: Just kidding! Well, I'm not sure about Pothead…He worries me sometimes…

Draco: He worries you!? I'm the one he'll "soon befriend" and fight "arm in arm" alongside him.

Me: Would you rather I have said 'hand in hand?'

Draco: Maybe…

Me: Really?

Draco: What's up with you people not understanding sarcasm? Oh, and before you twist this into something weird, NO!

Me: Getting a bit defensive there, eh ferret brains?

Draco: Ew.

Me: What?

Draco: You said ferret brains.

Me: Whatev. End of 'Potter-Mon Talk Show Chat Time.' I'm out.


	2. Episode 2: Insert witty title here

Creative and witty DISCLAIMER: I am not, nor have I ever been-or, for that matter will be- J.K. Rowling. I also do not own Harry Potter. I also am not the creator of Pokemon-I really wish I had a dragonite though...sigh...imagine flying to school on a dragonite....so cool...(o^ - ^o)

Episode 2. Woot.

Today we find our heroes exploring the ground on which they have landed. As of now, our heroes are in deep discussion with one another. Let's take a look and continue on with their strange tale…

"But Draco! Please!" Harry begged like a two year old. He was doing his cute face and hugging Draco's shin, all the while being dragged on the ground by an infuriated Draco.

"For the last time, NO!" As Draco stumbled on a rock, which scooted itself under Harry's dragging body., scraping his tender tummy.

"Ow! Draco, you did that on purpose! Waaaaah!"

"No I did not, Pothead! Maybe if your flailing legs weren't in my way, I could see where the heck I was going!"

"Draco!!! Waaaaah! It hurts! Pleeeeeease!!!"

"For. The. Last. Time. I. Am. Not. Giving. You. A. Piggy. Back. Ride. Now. Go. Away. And. Bother. Some. One. Else. NOW!!!" Draco began to shake Harry off his leg, when he felt the familiar tingling of electricity.

"OWWW! POTHEAD! STOP!!! OWWWW!" Draco screamed.

"THEN GIVE ME A PIGGY BACK RIDE!!" Harry began to pull out Draco's fur.

"NEVEEER!!!" Draco dragged out the 'VER' in a very dramatic fashion.

"FINE!" Harry's electric shock grew more intense.

Draco didn't know how much longer he could take it…he was fading, giving in…and before he knew it, he gave up.

"Fine Pothead! I'll give you a flippin' piggy-back ride…I'm gonna regret this later…"

And so, our heroes found themselves in rather awkward positions-though one of our heroes didn't realize the true inelegance of such a position. Which one might that be?

Draco's face was a bright Gryffindor scarlet from the exersion he had to use to carry Harry, and the humiliation of becoming the Boy Who Lived's 'horsey.'

"Jeez, Pothead, how much do you weigh?"

"How rude! Didn't your mother ever tell you never to ask someone else how much they weighed? I had to learn that the hard way…I never want to see Uncle Vernon eat another sloppy-joe in my life…" Harry shuddered at that last part, causing Draco to stumble a bit.

"Hey you up there, unless you want your _face_ to look like a sloppy joe, then I suggest you be still!" Draco said, gesturing at the rocky ground.

"Your mom's face looks like a sloppy joe." Harry muttered.

"What did you say? Did you seriously just say a 'yo mamma' joke?" Draco asked with much incredulity.

"Maybe…"

"We'll see about that! You'll regret ever starting this! Yo mamma so smelly, she went to visit a nuclear power plant after eating a bean burrito for lunch and blew up Chernobyl!"

"Oh yeah, well, yo mamma so fat and ugly she looked into a river and killed all the fish!"

"Yo mamma so stupid she flunked an IQ test!"

"Yo mamma so fat people have to make a U-turn around her butt in the supermarket!"

"Yo mamma so fat, she suffocated a whale while she was floating in the ocean on a raft!"

"Yo mamma so stupid she doesn't get this joke!"

"Yo mamma so stupid she told you that joke!"

"Yo mamma so stupid she gave birth to you!"

"Take that back!"

"That's what she said."

"Pervert!"

"Jerk!"

"Pervert!"

"Big jerk!"

"Even bigger pervert!"

"Even bigger jerk times infinity!"

"There's only one way to settle this, Pothead!"

"Oh yeah, _Freako_ Malfoy? How's that?"

"I've got two onomatopoeias for you, Pothead: Ping. Pong." Draco lifted up one finger for each onomatopoeia as he spoke them.

"Brilliant Freako, but where are we gonna get a ping pong table, paddles, and a ping pong ball?" Harry antagonized.

"Well, maybe if we weren't stuck here in this Merlin forsaken place, we could find one!"

"What are you implying, Freako?"

"What do you think I'm implying, Pothead?"

"I don't know! That's why I asked you! Idiot!"

"Nevermind what I was implying, you're too stupid!"

"I'm so confused!"

"Your momma's face is confusing!"

"That made no sense!"

"It wasn't supposed to!"

"Jerk!"

"Pansy!"

"Double jerk!"

"Pansy poop Pothead!"

"What the heck?"

"What? Jealous of my mad comeback skills?"

"That's what she-"

"ENOUGH!!!!!"

Harry and Draco looked up in shock to see the one who had spoken-er-yelled.

Harry and Draco saw, and immediately knew who it was and the two boys collapsed into giggles.

"Quit laughing! Shut up! NOW!" But it was too late, the two boys were laughing too hard to be able to recover.

The not-so-mysterious figure shook in fury, and suddenly the air was thick with a sense of foreboding….

Who is this mystery character? What is he doing here? And why is the air so thick with foreboding, while the two boys are giggling to their hearts content? Tune in later to find out next time on Pottermon!

--------------

Draco's Song (see _Misty's Song_ for the tune)

Harry (spoken): _yawn_ G'night Draco, g'night mystery person! See ya in the morning!

Draco (spoken): G'night Pothead, sweet dreams…

(Draco sings)

Out here in this new empty world,

Beneath the stars and moon

This hero of the whole wizarding world

He's a moron with no clue

He looks at me, I hold my breath

I wanna tell him what I think, but he won't

Listen to my words

I wanna tell him, but I'm afraid cuz these

Words will really hurt.

Oh, I know this isn't easy, but, I really must say it soon

I wanna tell the whole truth to him that,  
He makes dung smell good.

I've tried to find the easiest way to

Tell you this awful truth

You smell like a landfill and a sewer

You didn't get the hints: Potter, you stink.

I look at you, and hold my breath

I have to tell you that you stink, cuz the smell

Has grown so much worse

I have to tell you, but my nose is burning

Your stench is too much

Oh, I know this isn't easy, but, I really must tell you now

I wanna tell the whole truth to you that,  
You make bums smell good.

Please take a shower now!

Or go away and leave me be!

I will not stand for it anymore!

You've made the Grimers gag and choke

You smell bad.

It's my duty telling you that, Your B.O.

Is ridiculous

Why's this my burden? Why not anyone else?

Your stench is so strong

Oh, I know this isn't easy, but, I really must tell you now

I've gotta tell the whole truth to you that,  
You make skunks smell good.

I must tell you that I'm leaving, cuz the smell

Makes me really sick.

I hate to tell you, but my nose is burning

My stomach's churning

Oh, I know this isn't easy, but, I really must tell you now

I wanna tell the whole truth to you that,  
You make death smell good.

Harry: Oi, Draco, you say anything?

Draco: Pothead, you make death smell good!

-----

Campfire time! Another discussion!

Me: So…How are you two feeling about this episode?

Harry: Towards the end you made me sound more masculine!

Me: How'd you get out of the closet?

Harry: I don't know, you're the writer!

Me: Touché

Draco: Why are my 'yo mamma' jokes stupid?

Me: Well, you can't be good at everything, like the 'Boy Who Lived' over there.

Harry: *watching a bug intently*

Draco: I see….

Me: Anywho, so what do you think about *ha ha, as if I'd say his name right now*'s form?

Draco: Pretty stinking hilarious.

Me: I know.

Draco: Is he okay? *whispers and points at Pothead*

Me: I don't know…Oh wait! I know-duh, I'm the writer, silly me-Pothead is just being emo again. I think he's about to throw another hissy fit and start crying like he always does.

Draco: Yeah. What should we start the countdown at?

Me: We'll go with 5.

Draco: Okay. 5

Me:4

Draco: 3

Me: 2

Draco: 1

Harry: Waaaaaaah!!! Why am I such a crybaby?

Draco: Because you're a loser who cries about everything.

Harry: Do not!

Draco: You're crying because you're upset that you're a crybaby. Get over yourself.

Harry: Jerk! *sticks out tongue*

Draco: Enough already, or else *insert name here* is gonna yell at us again.

Harry: Waaaaaaaah!

Draco: What'd I do this time?

Harry: Nothing, it-it's just….sniffle….hic..

Draco: What?

Harry: I stepped on a rock!

Draco: Really. Wow.

Harry: And-and-and, I-I-I k-k-killed a baby spider!!

Draco:….

Harry: Waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Me: Yeah, I'm going. Bye.

Draco: NOOOOOO!!! Don't leave me here with The Boy Who Cried!!! NOOO!!!

Me: Enough said. I know. I'm beyond insane. In fact, I'm in-insane.

---

So, now we know that the 'Potter Stinks' badges Draco made, were really just Draco's way of trying to be subtle.

Now, reread the theme song in the first chapter if you like.

Can you guess who the mystery person is?


	3. Episode 3: Who's that Pokemon?

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Harry Potter/etc, or Pokemon. I don't even own Mr. Snuggles, he belongs to Harry!

* * *

Episode 3: Who's that pokémon?

On this episode of Pottermon, we find our heroes in a fit of giggles-despite the idiocy of such a position. Let's continue on their journey and find out what exactly is so gut-wrenchingly funny.

"QUIT LAUGHING POTTER!!" The mystery character yelled to no avail.

"H-h-have y-you s-s-seen y-y-yourself!?" Harry asked between giggles.

"Yes Potter, I have realized the situation. I also know where you keep Mr. Snuggles."

That worked; Harry quietened immediately and whacked-though rather weakly-Draco upside the head.

"Oww!" Draco yelled, swiping back.

Harry retorted with a rather nasty thundershock. To the face.

"OWWWW!!! POTHEAD!!! STOPPIT!!!" Draco screeched.

Suddenly, both were knocked to the ground by a rather strong gust of wind.

"Both of you stop. Now." The newcomer spoke through his beak.

The two boths erupted into giggles once more.

"Sorry Sev. But do you honestly expect anyone to take a flying dust bunny seriously?" Draco asked, laughter punctuating his answer.

"I'm a Swablu, for your information. And quit calling me Sev. It's stupid and obnoxious." Snape replied angrily.

"Fine then, Sevy-poo!" Snape; or as Draco so unwittingly called him, Sevy-poo, gave him a glare that would make Chuck Norris cry.

Draco withered a bit.

Harry pointed and laughed.

Draco punched Harry.

Sevy-poo gave them both 'the look.'

They stopped. Immediately.

"Now that you two have decided to grow up, how about we do something productive?" Sevy-poo asked gently with that subtle touch of anger only he can pull off so well.

"Like starting a business?" Harry suggested with that innocent air of stupidity.

"No you imbecile-"

"Or growing fruits and vegetables?" Draco joined, enjoying Sevy-poo's boiling frustration.

"No-"

"No Draco, that's not productive!"

"You're right, that's _produce_ not productive. Silly me. How about we stop war and gain world peace?"

"Not that-"

"Yeah, if that's not productive then I don't know-"

"SHUT UP!!!!!!" Sevy-poo yelled while somewhere in this world Jack the Ripper hid under a blanket in fear of Sevy-poo's wrath.

"You two are the biggest imbeciles I have ever met in my entire life!! You think I'm kidding? I have seen things even your worst nightmares would run from! Shut up! I have killed and tortured and harassed the most lethal of foes, climbed from the heights of the most treacherous peeks, and you two here keep laughing!!! Stop it!!! NOW!! QUIT IT YOU LITTLE TURDS!!!" Sevy-poo bellowed and-rather embarrassingly-stamped his foot. He continued his little temper tantrum and the boys fed the flames with their hopelessly endless giggles.

Little had the three known of the true cause of their giggles and-well, for Sevy-poo anyways-the humiliation and fury. Well, they didn't know the true cause of the _overwhelming intensity_ of said things-the giggles, humiliation, and anger would've happened anyways.

Our heroes-both new and known-did not see nor hear the high pitched giggles of one who was not of their own. They did not smell his scheming mind at work over the stench of Pottyhead's BO or Sevy-poo's greasy feathers. They did not see the malevolent smile etched upon his face.

For awhile, this being will simply take to following our heroes on their journey-slowly but surely tearing down their already flimsy foundation of trust, friendship, and- 

(Draco interrupts)

Draco: What's up with the corny narration? 'Smell his scheming mind,' and 'flimsy foundation of trust' are you on crack?

Me: Shut up! You're not supposed to know that!

Draco: What, that you're on crack?

Me: No, the 'smell his scheming mind,' etc, parts! Hello, I'm being the narrator! Characters don't talk to the narrator, heck, characters don't even here the narrator!

Draco: Yeah, and sane people don't talk to fictional characters.

Me: Touché.

Draco: Anyways, tone down the cheese! You're making me constipated!

Me: Ew. Now go away!

(back to story) 

-and honor. Well, maybe not honor. Okay, they aren't very trusting…nor are they friendly…so scratch all that. The point is that our heroes were being watched, and not just by some crazy narrator stalking them to tell their story to the world, but by a sinister being.

On a lighter note, a less sinister meeting is about to take place.

The bushes opposite of the psychopath who hates kittens, a couple of friends we all know and mostly love suddenly emerge, scaring both Sevy-poo and Harry, who consequently both try to jump into Draco's fur covered arms. The result is a rather ticked off Draco, an embarrassed and, as usual, confused Harry-who thundershocks Draco, Sevy-poo, and another baby spider-and a disgruntled Sevy-poo: all of which are in rather compromising positions.

"What the-" one of the two figures says, gazing at the rather interesting scene before them.

"Harry, is that you?" A familiar, yet unfamiliar-the voice pitch was different, but the accent/speaking style were the same-voice asked from the other figure. Harry internally groaned.

"Collin?" Harry asked the small baby mime clown thing (a Mime Jr.), hoping for the one word/syllable answer for a decline that rhymes with 'hobo.'

"Yes! Jeez Harry! Isn't this exciting!! I've always loved Pokémon, I can't believe it all really does exist!! Did you know that at home, on my Nintendo DS, I've caught 300 so far! Wow I had to trade and bribe and battle and gamble and…"

Harry's mind trailed off at 'jeez.' Draco had his mouth open wide in a rather unattractive manner, gaping. He needed to be careful; otherwise a bug might fly in and drown in Draco's saliva. That would be sad. Poor little buggy…'I'd save you!' Harry thought gallantly. He began to think up his battle plan for operation Save the Bug!. First, he'd thunderwave Draco to get him to be still. Then, he'd force Draco's mouth open, reach in and- Harry suddenly lost his train of thought as he saw a bug-a real live bug-flying about. Harry watched it with unceasing fascination. His head began to follow the pattern in which the bug was flying. But then, to Harry's horror, the bug was flying dangerously close to Collin's exuberantly waving arms.

'NOOOOOOOO!' Harry thought as he reached over to swat the swinging arm away from the innocent bug's path, and simultaneously catch the baby bug into his caring hand and bring it to safety, but Harry was too late. The hand met bug with a sickening squish.

Harry stared at Collin with a look of utmost horror written on his face.

"You killed him." Harry stated as the anger grew.

"No! He only fainted, you can't kill Pokémon, it doesn't work-"

"NO! Your hand. His body. His life. His _soul_." Harry stated dramatically.

Draco accidentally let out a giggle.

Harry slowly turned in a disturbing manner to face the hysterical Draco with a look of maniacal rage on his once mournful face. This anger would make a Spartan run for his life.

Draco cowered like a coward. Immediately.

Harry glared. Angrily.

Collin talked. Obliviously.

Sevy-poo watched. Preparedly. He was ready to control the dangerous Potter when his services were needed.

The bug twitched. Lifelessly.

The other non-evil figure who came out with Collin-who you may have guessed correctly by now that it was Dennis, who by the way is a Pichu, picked his nose. Disgustingly.

What will happen next? Will it be a showdown for our heroes? Will a service be held for the bug? Why is Harry so obsessed with bugs? Why are there so many dramatic one word sentences? Tune in next time to find out only on, Pottermon! 

For what we've all been waiting for! The song! (this one is the song that came on whenever Ash almost ditched Pikachu, it is called the _Time Has Come_)

The Mime has Come

I close my eyes

And I can see

The day we met

Just a moment and we knew

We're your best friends

We'll follow you

Always

We know your dorm

Been in your room

We steal your socks and your dirty underwear

We follow you

No matter where

You're the meaning of life, our purpose in this world!

This mime has come

To stalk you everywhere

Some alone time, just you and I!

Somehow someday

You, Harry, will be mine.

This mime has come

To go ev'rywhere you go

Some alone time, just you and I!

Somehow someday

You, Harry, will be mine.

Collin (speaking): This is for the best, my friend.

Sevy-poo (also spoken): Collin!

Draco (spoken, duh!): Why are you doing this?

Collin (still spoken): It's for his own good! He needs to learn that he cannot escape me! He needs me! He'll be better off this way. Am I right, Harry?

Harry (not spoken, he's tied up and gagged, it's more of a muffle): mmmff!!

Draco: Come on Collin, this is nuts!

Sevy-poo: I'm with Draco. This is insane! There must be a better way!

Collin: You're right…

(unties Harry) 

That's all folks! Now onto the after show commentary, introducing our new characters!

* * *

Me: Welcome Sevy-poo, Collin, and Dennis.

Sevy-poo: Why?

Me: That's a vague question.

Sevy-poo: Do you hate me?

Me: No, I just thought it'd be fun to call you Sevy-poo and make you be a Swablu.

Sevy-poo: No, not that! Why do I have to be with those insufferable idiots? And their arguing is driving me bananas!

Me: sorry. Their fights are just too epic to not type!

Sevy-poo: I guess, oh and what exactly are they?

Me: Why Sevy-poo, I'm glad you asked! Harry is an Elekid and Drcaco is a Furret.

Sevy-poo: Ahh. That helps. Thanks.

Me: You're welcome! Thank you Sevy-poo for providing me with a creative way to say what Pothead and Draco are after realizing I never clearly said what they were.

Sevy-poo: Anytime, oh high and awesome author.

Me: You're welcome oh Dear Sevy-poo.

Sevy-poo: Can you stop calling me that?

Me: No. What are Collin and Dennis doing?

Sevy-poo: I don't know, you're the author.

Me: Jeez! You all are so unhelpful!

Sevy-poo: We aren't even real.

Me: Touché.

Sevy-poo: I think they are looking at their Potter memorabilia.

Me: Weird.

Sevy-poo: You have no idea.

Me: You're one to talk, you have more of Potter's stuff than the Creevies _combined_ with Potter do!

Sevy-poo: Do not!

Me: Do too!

Sevy-poo: It's a lie!!

Me: Then why do you have Harry's watch that he broke while swimming in the lake in the triwizard tournament on your wrist?

Sevy-poo: It-it-it-er, it makes me feel pretty!

Me: Oh yeah, well what about that tattoo of Harry on your-

Sevy-poo: How do you know about that?

Me: Duh. I'm the author!

Sevy-poo: Drat.

Me: Whatev. I'm bored, go play with Collin and Dennis, Sevy-poo.

Sevy-poo: STOP CALLING ME THAT!! *stamps his feet indignantly*

Me: Bye ya'll. Oh, and any grammar issues you see, tell me! Give me paragraph and sentence number (ex: 10th paragraph, first sentence, etc) Thanks! Please review, don't flame!


End file.
